My deepest fear

So i'm doing this thing where each song fits the blog so evidence- chase the clouds away is going to fit this song and then Piece of Mind by Joey Bada$$ is going to fit my next blog My deepest fear is when my mind isn't clear and my social anxiety takes over my reality. What happened to me I used to try to become friends with everyone but I guess that's because several of them when into Heaven. I just listen to my music in classes because i'm afraid that they're laughing at my fashion but I lose multiple chances to meet new people because my seat belt is already fasten. There are days where I think of giving into weed because sometimes I feel like it's something I need something that will help me feel free. I'm scared of going into work and finding out that I lost another one of my friends because any day now they can meet their end but I know that they've amends. They've accepted fate I wish I can debate but they'll soon reach their estate. I'm afraid to go home it's no rome but it's where my friends and I roll. Family is always arguing with each other it's like thunder no wonder why I always shutter. I'm afraid that I'll mess up with this new girl because when I'm with her my head starts to twirl I feel like i'm in a different world. I hope I don't become nervous oh I know she sees me squirmish but she thinks I'm a great person. I've never felt this way but I shouldn't get my hopes up because she can play with me like a jump rope. But I should be happy because I'm alive i'm living life everyday I survive. I must've chased the dark clouds away it's another day that I don't feel astray because the more I prey I know it'll be a good day. So I shouldn't complain because I'm not afraid I've learned to embrace and erase the mistakes that I used to display.